Excuse Me, I'm Trying To Save The Country

After I announced my bid for Dictator, people have been curious about some of my plans. So I've decided to answer some of their questions.


Pope Sparkles, why not do away with all of congress?

Thank you for asking this important question. I'm keeping some of congressmen on because I know I don't know it all and I'll need their expertise. Also, I know that I am fallible because I am human, I need a good sounding board. I believe they will be that for me.

Don't be mistaken, when I hand back the power of federal government to the people, there will be some changes to the way congress is run. More on that later.

What will you do about Medicare & Social Security?

I did address this broadly in the original post, but I will say it a little more to the point this time. I would phase them out. I believe with my lower tax rate, you'll be able to keep more of the money you earn. It's up to you to invest it wisely.

Do you honestly believe that a flat tax can work?

I will be working with a panel of economic experts to help me decide which tax structure would be the best for the future of America. I'm currently looking at the flat tax and a federal sales tax.

Will you change the Constitution in any way while you hold the office of Dictator?

Only for the better. First, I would re-word the 14th Amendment so there wouldn't be anymore so-called 'anchor babies'. I believe this will help with the immigration problem we are facing.

Then, because of my tax reform, the 16th Amendment would have to go.

I said earlier that there would be changes to how congress is run. So, lastly, the 17th Amendment would be repealed. This would restore balance between the federal government and the States. I will also set term limits for congress. 18 years total. They can do 9 terms as a representative or 3 terms as a senator. Then you must go back into the society you made laws for. This will keep power from going to their head. Also, their pay grade would be audited.

What changes would you make to the military?

Thank you. I love this question! I believe that our military should be one of greatest assets. Unfortunately, they have been treated poorly lately and I want to change that. I would make the GI Bill stronger so there will be a better incentive to enlist. Military housing will get an overhaul. I believe their families deserve better.

Also, the way the Department of Veteran's Affairs has been sub par. This too will change. Our veterans deserve better. It saddens me to see someone that fought overseas get treated worse or have to wait longer in line than someone that sits at home that refuses to work for a living.

Dear Pope Sparkles, will you be ruling with an iron fist, abject humiliation or completely unaware of what's going on around you?

Ooh! Nice question. Iron fist in a velvet glove with some mocking and only unaware of what goes on at the state level.

I hope this clears up my intentions of what I would do as Dictator. If you have any more questions about policy matters, please put them in the comment section or tweet them at me here with the hashtag #AskBFW.

Dear People of Walmart & the Kind

Do yourself a solid & buy a full length mirror. Trust me on this one.

Next, learn how to respect yourself. People treat you by how you present yourself. If you dress like garbage, you'll get treated like garbage.

Don't anybody want to see your shit stained pants, your boobs tucked into your pants with no shirt on, the pee bag strapped to your ankle, or your back boobs. There is just not enough eye bleach for that.

Also, please get close to your size when buying clothing. Women, if you are a size 22, for the love of God, do NOT try to squeeze into a size 14. Fabric can only take so much strain. Men, if your waistline measures at a 32", don't wear a 38" (or larger). Trust me when I say, no one wants to see your underoos. 

Some other things you might want to consider:
- showering on a regular basis
- brushing your hair
- brushing & flossing your teeth
- wearing the right size bra (if you're a woman)
- standing up straight
- picking your feet up when you walk

Don't blame others for your lot in life if you choose to dress & take care of yourself poorly. That's on you. Take a minute or two before walking out the door, and look in the mirror. You'll be amazed at the difference it makes in your life.

For every one who has to look at you, please take these tips into consideration. Thanks!

I Need Your Help

After watching what is happening to our country, I have decided to run for "Dictator". I would run for president, but that's so last year.

States, you're on your own. I will only step in with federal power & assistance when you have exhausted all your resources. Get ready. Also, you and the local school boards are in charge of the education in your state. I'm going to have a full plate. So, good luck. If you are at all confused about what each state is responsible for, may a recommend some light reading called "The Constitution"?

After I seize full control of the federal government and military, I have some things on my agenda to work on. Here is a short list:

- Every congressman with 20+ years in their seat will be let go. No pay. No perks. No pension.
  - Those remaining will be interviewed & only kept on if they have a skill set or specific area of
    expertise that I might deem useful  (e.g. military, federal budget, foreign affairs)

- Build up the military...lots of people want to kill us.

- Conduct a full audit of all federal spending
  - Cut all what is not guaranteed in the Constitution
    - Eliminate wasteful or ineffective social programs, regulations and bureaucracies. 

- After audit and cut of programs, keeping the income tax rate the same until national debt
   is down to $750M
  - Implement a flat tax of 7%
  - Eliminate the death tax & many others. 

- Seal the border
  - The safety & well being of my people come first!

- Drastically reduce foreign aid
  - No money will be given directly to a foreign government
    -  Exceptions might include agricultural education programs so foreign countries can grow their own food safely and efficiently.

I can’t do this alone, however. I need your help for things like funding and outreach, as well as  emotional and spiritual support. I should also mention, this will not be a lifetime assignment for me. Ain't nobody got time for that!

So vote for me, Pope Sparkles for Dictator of America!