From AmeriCAN to AmeriCANT rant

First of all, sorry for the bad pun of a title, but I had to do it. Couldn't stop myself. Now on to my rant.

My grandfather was diagnosed with myathenia gravis in 1944. Myathenia Gravis is an autoimmune neuromuscular disease. Your muscles will not act the way should. He developed double vision, trouble breathing & swallowing.

He worked on what was called 'handicapped wages'. Sounds nice, huh? Instead of $2.50/hr, he would make $1.75/hr. He did not whine. He did not complain. He showed up every day & worked.

He had 3 children (my 2 aunts & 1 uncle) that had Usher's Syndrome. Most of you would recognize it as what Helen Keller had. Your vision & hearing are shot! Yet, they all found jobs. They worked full time. My uncle was a very good handy man. My aunts were talented at crochet & sewing.

My dad had a cousin that had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. She was diagnosed at the age of 12. She went on to become a missionary. Since she was unable to be pregnant, she adopted 2 children from Columbia. She even wrote a book! Which is impressive because her hands were fused & it was before a lot of the newer software. She did it with a stylus type thing in her mouth.

Not one of these individuals ask for help from the government.

Why do I bring these stories up you ask? Easy, we have become a nation of wusses. The only time most of us are willing to break a sweat is at the gym. Hard work has become a cuss word. We want everyone else to do for us.

I want us to start doing again. I rather my kids learn trades than philosophy 101. Carpenters make practical things for life, as philosophers are mainly overbloated pious windbags. So let's work smarter. I want to put America back into action.

Rant #57

Two things ~ #1 - My mother is a 2nd generation American. #2 - I was brought up in a farming community. The reason I bring these things up is because you work for your meal. Literally. If you don't sow the seed, you get no harvest.

What ever happened to working for your meal? My aunt told me even during the Great Depression, people would do chores or what ever they could for the food you would offer. If you work for it, you appreciate it even more. Also, by working for it, you get a sense of pride.

In our present culture, people mix up pride & ego. They are two different things. Ego is how you feel about yourself and often gets bloated. Pride is making sure that you are making the best quality part you can & being true to your word.

We need to go back to this fundamental virtue in America. Freedom comes from working for your food. If someone else gives it to you, you are their slave. They own you. I don't know about you, NO ONE owns me. I am an independent person.

Hello, My Name Is....

Jennie. I have a food addiction & am a level 1 hoarder. No joke here. True life story. Both of these stem from my anxiety disorder. I used to be able to function normally, but in the past year, it has gotten a lot worse.

My food addiction started innocently enough. Fattening food to celebrate. Then junk food when sad. After awhile, I started to 'medicate' myself with food for anything that happened in life. Didn't matter what happened. Even boredom became a trigger. 

Now, I'm not stupid. I know in my head how to eat healthy & exercise. I know I should hit the gym 3 times a week. Here's where my mind puts up a wall. I can't go to the gym, people will laugh & gawk at my body mass. Just thinking about causes panic attacks. How do I take care of panic attacks? Comfort food. It sedates me. So there is part of my cycle. My life revolves around food.

Now unto the hoarding. I know when it started, but its really hard to stop. Currently, I'm going through my things and discarding stuff. It should be easy, but I'm having a hard time. I know part of it comes from when I was broke. I mean like I'm donating plasma for gas money, broke. I became even more afraid to throw anything away that was still usable. I try to donate what I can, but in the back of my head, the voice is saying, 'What if you need that? You don't have the cash to replace it.' 

Why am I telling you all of this? Mainly because I would like people to understand some of what goes instead of the heads of people who go through this. Also, because I'm trying to reclaim myself.

My pastor challenged us this year to 'recover all' this year. He asked us, 'What do you need to recover?' I thought about it, I need to recover me. I lost myself. I allowed myself to get to 260 lbs. I allowed myself to live in a messy home. Because of these two things, I have not given myself the permission to date. I'm single. I want this to change. To do so, I have to heal myself with God's help. 

I know I will not get better over night, because it did not happen over night. I'm taking my baby steps. Purging junk, donating good things, eating better, moving more. I have lost weight. My home is looking better day by day. Hoping soon, that I can overcome my anxiety & live the life I want. 

I'll keep you all posted.