For the last few years, I've had the same two question asked of me ad nauseam. "Why are you single?" & "When are you getting married?" Here are my answers: Because I don't date & probably never because I don't date.
Now you're probably wondering why I don't date. It's not for religious reasons or anything like that. The people in my life have told me my whole life:
- I'm only pretty when I'm blonde
- I have a big nose
- My boobs are too small
- I have a sumo wrestler size ass
- I have thunder thighs
- I'm an ungrateful bitch
- I can't cook
- I can't clean
- When I cry, I'm a drama queen
- When I laugh, I'm too loud
- I'm a whore (although, never had sex)
- fat
- lazy
- stupid (with an IQ of 136)
If these are true, then what do I have to offer in a relationship?
If these are false, then why would I want to subject myself to more abuse?
I have just found it easier to stay to myself and remain single. Now you all know the answers to the questions.
Why just listen to the most professional internet radio ever, when you can drink along?
Rules are simple. For everything listed, take a drink.
Snark Factor Drinking Game:
- Someone says 'I saw ______ open for_______'
- Someone from the chat gets mentioned on air (2 drinks if its you)
- Fingers says 'for the love of God' or 'that's uncalled for'
- Duke giggles/laughs so hard he can't breathe
- It's mentioned that Amy Miller left Michigan with her middle finger in the air
- Almond Milk
- A reference to Bob Crane, Raymond Burr, or Fatty Arbuckle
- The Meijer Clinic
- News babe told to look up something from the host's childhood
- Ask Jeeves or MySpace reference
- News babe/Host/Co-host/Guest cancelled
- Someone interrupts before introductions are done
- Duke's Commodore 64 crashes
Those are just what I can think of at this time. If I missed anything, please add it in the comment section below.
Drink responsibly.
The Snark Factor can be heard Mon - Thurs 8 pm EST on the mighty FTR Radio.
