Wednesday, April 25, 2012

My Blog Con Breakthrough

If you've the personal, non-political blogs I have written, you know I have social anxiety. So let's put myself at a conference in another state with about 300 people I've never met face to face. Add in another factor of me having some health issues. As you may guess it adds up to be an interesting weekend. Which it was!

I think I did okay. No one has told me different. It was very overwhelming for me. It was like going to a family reunion & you've only been dating your guy/girl for a few months.

So the first person I really talked to was Jimmie Bise Jr. I love him. He is so friendly. But He did do something that almost made me cry. He told me I was beautiful. Now, you have to understand, up until then the only people (outside my family) to tell me that I am beautiful were my female friends & drunk guys at closing time. So that started my experience.

After that I started meeting more people I met on twitter. I was happy to finally meet part of my anti-social social circle. I also some big dogs of the twitterverse & bloggosphere. If it wasn't for the fact I haven't eaten since breakfast & started drinking at the Detroit airport, I'm not sure I would have done as well as I did.

After that, everything kinda happened very fast for me. I did have some slow when I was away from people. I had so many conversations with so many people. As a matter of fact, I talked to so many, I felt like I was campaigning & I forgot to do that!!

I do remember trying to socialize as much as possible. Trying make as much of the experience as I could, mainly because I don't know if I'll be able to this again. If I keep my job, then I will be able to. I've only been out of debt completely for a few months, so I'm still getting used to it.

To summarize, I did a few things that 6 months ago I would have put money on the fact that I wouldn't have done it because of finances & anxiety. I traveled by myself. I allowed myself to be in a room with essentially strangers.

I'm so glad that I went though. Number one, it was great to get away for a few days, meet new people. Number two, it was awesome to prove to myself that I can do it. That I'm proving that stupid voice in the back of my head that I am worth more.

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