What's Your Gender?

Yesterday (2/13/14), Facebook started what I like to refer to as the "50 Shades of Gender" for you select. Yes, you read that right. 50 different genders. 

NEWS FLASH!!! 

There isn't that many. This kid even understands it.

Overly simple, yes. Look in any medical anatomy book. You will see 2 genders. Male & female. Some more advanced books will even discuss intersex or hermaphrodite. Even with that, it only brings it to 3 genders. 

So now that most of the hard science part of this post is over, let's get to what this is about. So called 'gender roles'. Males are supposed to be the strong, mechanical ones, while females are supposed to be the fair, nurturing ones. I'm not sure who wrote these rules, but there wrong. We all know people who break those stereotypes. From my understanding, this all boils down to one thing, feelings. People let their feelings rule over logic & reason. 

This graph that is typically used in grade school science class
shows how chromosomes determine your gender.

As you can see, feelings are not science. So why should everybody have to learn 47 new gender types? If you present yourself as a male, I will call you a guy. If you present yourself as a female, I will call you a chick. Life is complicated enough, why keep adding to it?

Drop It Like Its Hoth

                                                             It's day infinity of snow. 

I'm very upset with the whole environmentalist/global warming crowd. They told me that the Earth was burning up. So I thought I jump on a orange grove property in Alaska before anyone else bought it. Its been over 10 years now. Where are my oranges? Under snow, that's where!

I want my money back!!

*This is my attempt at sarcasm about the 3' of the cold white stuff outside my door. I never bought land in Alaska for any purpose.*

Regrets? I've Made A Few

 This quote always makes me chuckle. Maybe in the grand scheme of things, yeah, everything happens for a reason. Maybe. 

To say honestly that I have no regrets would be a HUGE lie. I have tons of regrets. With it being the end of the year & everyone being all reflective like, I thought I share a few of my regrets.

~ I wish I would have studied better and taken school more seriously when I 

   was younger. 

~ I wish have thought more about my future instead of just going along with 

   whatever came my way.

~ I wish I would have taken better care of my teeth.

~ I wish I would have taken better care of my body.

~ I wish I would allowed myself to be vulnerable when it came to love.

~ I wish I didn't listen to the negative voices growing up.

These are just the big ones. The first two are because I figured out in my 30's that I was smart and could be more than a regular factory worker. The second two, though I'm in good health, most of my teeth are cavity riddled. My body, on the other hand, has seen better days. The fifth one is because I've never allowed myself to open up to anyone and I know I've missed out on a lot of adventures. The last one, well, because if I didn't, the other 5 probably wouldn't exist.

Don't get me wrong, my life isn't horrible. It just could be better. I have to make the choice to make it that way. I just refuse to say that I have no regrets when I do. I hope that 2014 is a better year for everyone. 

The Truth Is

The truth is I really don't really want to write this post, but I need to. I really dislike talking or sharing anything truly personal on my blog. Please bear with me.

The truth is depression sucks. I hate when it hits hard. I hate that I don't want to talk about it with anyone. Just slap on a mask and call it a day. Smile when you really don't care. Go through the motions of being a functional human being, when really you could give a fuck less. What really sucks about it is when it hits around the holidays. You really don't want to be around people, but what are you forced to do, be around people! You become upset and annoyed. Then you hate yourself because you feel guilty for hating your family. So you hang out with them again. And circle just keeps going and going!

Now, most people talk about depression and how much it sucks. I will never dispute that fact. It does. What people really don't talk about is the clean up. I could come out of my episodes a lot sooner if not for the clean up. 

Clean up? What are you talking about? 

When depression strikes and the person looks out into darkness; dishes don't get washed, laundry won't get done, housework piles up and bills may or may not get paid. Let's be truthful, who cares when you're depressed? You try to break the cycle, but then you look out at all that needs to get done, it becomes too much. The cycle starts over again. Its too much of a hassle. You just don't have the energy and because of the depression, you don't ask for help. Mainly, because the disease tells you no one cares so they won't help you anyway.

The truth is, they do.

The truth is, as much as we talk about mental health, we do little to help those who suffer from it. 

The truth is, we don't know how.

The truth is, I suffer from anxiety & depression. I will try my best to be more open with my feelings. I will try ask for help more often. This is my promise to myself so the cycle will end.

You A Coward

Permit me, a overly Caucasian miss to adapt as best as I can the speech pattern of the inner city to address some of its youth.

*clears throat*

Whatever you done think about yourself, one thing is true, you ain't as hard as you think you is. This game y'all playing called "Knockout" tells me you a coward and weak. You ain't doin nothin but sucker punchin. That right there makes you the sucker. Yeah, I said it. I hear y'all sayin the reason you play this so called game cuz you bored. That makes you weak. You don't use the brain God done gave you. There so much to do in the world, but you don't try any of it because it takes hard work. Ain't no one holdin you down but you, boo.

*shakes head*

I don't think I came close. I am just too darn white.

You live in America. We are all born equal. Just some of us have to work harder to obtain greatness. I refuse to take 'boredom' as an excuse. How can you be bored? Boredom is caused by a small brain. A brain that refuses to grow. There is always something out there to learn, to explore, to conquer. Learn how to play the drums. Learn how to write computer code. Volunteer at a VA home and learn about history & war from someone who lived it. Spend time with your family. Boring I know, but there will be times that they will be the only ones in the world that have your back. 

Yes, I'm calling you out. I've read my history. I know the struggles that black people have had in the last 150 years. Not that I've had them happen to be personally. History has told me that a man by the name of Frederick Douglass was born a slave and die with a name & a voice. His life wasn't easy, he wasn't considered human as a slave. That didn't stop him. What's stopping you?

The Art of Tipping for Church Goers

It breaks my heart to see in the news that people who go church on Sundays (maybe even on Wednesday) leave notes on their bills stating ridiculous reasons why they didn't leave a tip. The latest one, had to do with a former Marine who happened to be gay. This infuriates me to no end. I despise bad tippers in the first place. To not leave a tip because of some 'moral' code? That's just wrong.

Here are the pro tip for tipping:

If you go to a restaurant to eat and there is a server that takes your order and brings you said order. You tip them.

Hard concept, I know. 

Now, I'm not 100% sure that the family in this story goes to church or not. If they do, they need to get right with God. I'm not a great theologian by any stretch of the imagination, but I do know that God judges us by our hearts. If we, as Christians, continue to short change people like this, it will do two things. 1) Show that we thinks more of a lawful nature than we do people. (Read Jesus' lifeline once. Which did he care about more?) 2) It closes any door we might have had to share the gift of salvation that we are commanded to do. Why would I want to follow a God who's followers treat me like scum? 

I know I will be attacked for my faith. I was warned about it. Its in the Bible and everything! I want to be attacked because I don't follow the rules of the world, not because I treated someone as a 'less than'. Every time I hear that's how people believe Christians act, it breaks my heart. Jesus came for the broken, for the sick, for the 'less thans'. We are to be like Jesus. I treat people how I want to be treated. 

So I guess what I'm trying to say here, if you are Christian and you go out to the world, check the plank in your eye before you go after the speck of dust in someone else's eye.

12 Years After

This past July I had the chance to visit the 9/11 Memorial in NYC. I saw the pools. Don't get me wrong, they were nice, but they didn't tell a story. Close by the memorial site is Engine 10. Engine 10 were the first responders. They are literally in throwing distance of were the towers stood. Outside of Engine 10, a man shows up every day to make sure that people know the what really happened that day. He witnessed it. He doesn't get paid to do this. He does it because he truly wants everyone that walks through to NEVER FORGET. 

I'm not a big picture taker, but I took two pictures outside of Engine 10 because they struck a cord with me. 

This is the beginning of a wooden mural that runs on the side of Engine 10. The sadness, the exhaustion, the dedication are all capture in this one piece of the mural.

I took this one because pictures of the faces speak louder to me than names on a memorial. Looking into the eyes of those who sacrificed all to help their fellow man bring me to tears than any man made pool.

After Engine 10, I had a chance to visit the 9/11 museum. They have a TV towards the back that plays people personal stories of that day. One father lost both of his sons that day. One was a firefighter, the other a police officer. The father is sad, but not to the point of hate that his sons died. (Time might have played a part in that). When he speaks of them, he speaks more from the perspective of pride. He was happy that his sons were selfless when it came to saving people. 

I leave with two more pictures. Both are from the memorial. The first is a piece of World Trade Center steel. You can see how twisted the steel became.

The second one, the New York skyline sculpted from WTC steel. 

I hope and pray that we never forget how on September 11, 2001, and the days that followed, we as Americans came together and show a unity that we quickly throw away at times.